Justice Fatigue

Deleted Scenes and Should-Be-Deleted Scenes from Justice League

***SPOILER ALERT***     ***SPOILERS BELOW***

[Queen Hippolyta and the Amazons work on a construction project.]
MENALIPPE: My queen, the chamber shall be completed as scheduled. Only…
QUEEN HIPPOLYTA: …Yes?
MENALIPPE: Do you not think the Mother Box would be safer inside a, a fortress, instead of a round theatre?
HIPPOLYTA: It shall suffice.
VENELIA: My queen, or what about in a vault deep underground?
HIPPOLYTA: No, no, this circular room is best. With the Mother Box on this central pedestal, we can keep arrows aimed at it from all angles.
VENELIA: If we’re in a circle, all pointing arrows at the center…won’t we be shooting each other?
MENALIPPE: My queen, also, about the plan to not have doors…
HIPPOLYTA: You mean heavy stone walls which will drop once their support logs are smashed with hammers?
MENALIPPE: Yes. Are you sure you just don’t want to use hinges? On big metal doors…maybe attached to a fortress?
HIPPOLYTA: This is the only way.

Socially Awkward Aardvark!

by Gordon & special guest contributor Ms. Kelsey

illustrations by Kelsey

...So we had this funny little idea. As an experiment, we decided to develop it independently at first, and see what our respective warped minds would birth. So here are two+ angles, a mere two surfaces of the multifaceted wonky gemstone that is Awkward Aardvark.

Our little friend may become the leading man in an ongoing series of a Much-Maligned Menagerie, so please do let us know if you think that should be the case.

Alright folks, enough chat... if awkward is the new sexy, get ready to change your underpants, cuz now it's time for... SOCIALLY... AWKWARD... AAAAARDVARK!!!

Gordonian Dialogues

PANTHER: Sup, Aard.
AARDVARK: ..Yo!
PANTHER: Aardvark, are you mocking me?
AARDVARK: No... my brother!
PANTHER: Stop.
AARDVARK: OK... dude. Roger... dog.
PANTHER: I will cut you.

Morph Man Reads 'Morph Man II'

aka Comics By 12-Year-Olds: Morph Man II: The Dawn of Omicron
(Read first: The Amazing Adventures of Morph Man!)

HOSTESS: Well, everyone, welcome to this very special panel reading of Morph Man II. For those of you following along at home, don't forget you can click on any page to see a larger, more legible version. So... we have with us today none other than... the green gooey crusader, that versatile variform victor himself, our fine feathered flatulent freedom fighter MORPH MAAAAN!!!!

Comics by 9-Year-Olds: Morph Man is Not Funny

by Gordon

The inaugural Comic by 9-Year-Olds, The Adventures of Robotron, could be called a work of a pure stage of childhood - untainted wonder, action, desperation, sci-fi grandeur, or at least the imitation of all that. Whereas The Amazing Adventure of Morph Man, which followed by perhaps only a year or two, seems to come from a wholly different place: the exceedingly awkward stage at which a child discovers humor, wields it clumsily, and thinks, almost exclusively mistakenly, that (s)he is hilarious. Cue mountains of poop jokes, fake burps, and armpit farts. In that spirit, I rather unproudly present:

Comics by 9-Year-Olds: Conversations with Robotron

Time for another treasure from the attic boxes... this time, the homemade comic book that started it all, yes: the legendary ROBOTRON #1, circa 1990. I think the Robotron series went up to #5 or 6, before giving way to the 'Morph Man' series and its spinoffs, and various superhero fan comics. Robotron had a companion / friend in a parallel galaxy named Robobot (penned by my best friend Doug), with whom he joins forces in the sequel.

Anyway, please enjoy....

AKA, Adventures in (Poor) Space(ing of Letters)

Today's My Birthday!

(From The Perry Bible Fellowship)

The insults that wound us most deeply, and the jokes that amuse us most profoundly, are those that are true. Then in the rare outstanding case, something simultaneously wounds AND amuses us with its truth - and that explains why I love this comic, and sometimes share it with friends on their birthdays (c. now, Monica, Chris, Peter, Emily!). I do it not only to play the devil's advocate, and not only because of my devious streak, but because I think such memento mori are valuable.

We all know people who do their best work when faced with a deadline (ha). 'Limited time only' sales catch our eye. Scarcity suggests value. Yet so many people go about their lives as if their days were unlimited... until one day, they'll be (wait for it)... dead wrong.

I say, keep a healthy awareness of death! Celebrate and dance on your bed now (while you still can). Do what matters to you today. After all, it's your birthday.