April 17, 2013

You Autocomplete Me!

Or, A Second Paean to Google's Autocomplete
 
Earlier this year, we examined what little boys and girls in (or out of) love can learn from the mysterious, miraculous cupid that is Google Autocomplete (see that Valentine's Day post here). As we saw, in a creepy but hilarious way, Autocomplete knows us as a populace, as a culture, perhaps even better than we know ourselves.

Now in a significantly less educational but more bewildering exposé, I present some other gems brought to you by Autocomplete. This will be more of a grab bag, including some examples of pure inscrutable weirdness. But, after all, when we dump a few trillion searches into the black box of google's artificial hive brain, stir it around, stick in a spoon, and try a random taste, who knows what to expect?

Part the First: You Answered Your Own Question
In which one of your questions answers another. For example:
I'd like to see a double-blind study that compares the elephant-lifting diet to the Atkins.

"Oh, that's why."

April 9, 2013

Is 'Dopey' an Unfair Name? An Analysis of Dwarf-Naming Practices


On the auspicious occasion of the approaching 86th anniversary (it's a big one!) of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, Disney's first feature-length animated film, I present a discourse on the appellation of dwarves.