Introducing DeepDream Architect

Sleeping Beauty has awakened. (source)
GoogleNet Places205, inception_4b/pool_proj, 10 iterations, 10 octaves, scale 1.2

Google’s DeepDream has been called “dazzling, druggy, and creepy” (Slate), “weirdly mesmering” (Wired UK), and “utterly psychedelic and surreal […] Lovecraftian nightmare fuel” (Le Bonbon). One month after Google Research loosed their creation on the world, this artificially intelligent image recognition-turned-generation neural net has turned vast swaths of the internet into dark, globulous, glistening nests of hairy eyes and alien dog-worm larvae. Techies and laymen alike have now used DeepDream to profane everything from pizza and presidents to, unsurprisingly, porn. (Also, ahem, brass instruments—see previous post.)

But even AI needs a break from puppyslugs. What else can it do? Well, as of mid-July, various incarnations of DeepDream have been specifically trained on images of flowers (8,000), faces (27,000), cars (137,000), and, oh, ~2.5 million images of PLACES.

Bingo. DeepDream’s new job: ARCHITECT.

Creepy Crawlies!

by Gordon
originally published as "Meet Your Neighbors: Bugs of Japan" in The Hyogo Times, 2003

Of the many wonders of Japan [or the American eastern seaboard], you may count the host of creepy-crawly, blood-sucking, gigantic poisonous insects as among your least favorite. Perhaps the likes of the semi, at least, you can tolerate - so long as they hum their unearthly serenade at a respectful distance from you; however, the moment a six-legged guest turns up at home, the standard aisatsu for most of us is AAAA SHIT, WHERE'S THE BUGSPRAY??? But, in your next encounter, why not stay your shoe for a moment, and reflect on what we can learn from these strange denizens of the East?

Asian Tiger Mosquito - link

The Mosquito

First honors go to the ka, Japanese for "blood-sucking fiend from Hell." It's really a summertime invader... but, nonetheless: shortly after I came to Japan, one of these somehow crept into my bedroom; that night, I woke up again and again, batting it away from my face (sort of like a really, really bad date). Around the sixth time, I finally dragged myself out of bed, turned on the light, rolled up a newspaper... but it had simply disappeared. The next night, I was attacked again and tried to find the culprit, and even used a paper fan to clear all the walls and ceiling (sleep-delirium, I suppose)... but to no avail. Prior to night #3, I searched the bedroom again - and... nothing. At that point I quarantined the room and slept elsewhere.

A New York Moment

A True Story, as poorly recalled by Gordon

Times Square, around 1AM

GUY: Ohh sorry can I bother you to take a picture please? Of me and my dog.
GIRL: Sure!
ME: Of course.
GUY: It's actually for my boyfriend. He's relaxing at home and making me walk his dog.
GIRL: Haha.
GUY: He's just sitting there and I'm out... walking his dog... in the middle of the night.
ME: Haha...the things we'll do for love!
GIRL: So where do you want it?
GUY: Here is fine. [Strikes multiple butt-centric modelesque poses]

Just Another Subway Ride (As Dreamt By an MTA Employee)

by Gordon

(Anyone know the photographer??)

CONDUCTOR: This is a Brooklyn-bound L train. Because of no construction, track maintenance, signal malfunction, or disruption, it will be making all scheduled stops. Next stop... Bedford Avenue.
GIRL: (Exiting) Oh, excuse me.
MAN: (Stepping aside) No, excuse me! Please exit the train before I get on. I find it's logical and much easier for everyone that way.
TANNOY: Please stand clear of the closing doors.
BOY NOT RUNNING OUTSIDE TRAIN: Oh, don't hold the doors; I'll catch the next one.
(Train moves)
MAN: (Standing up) Oh, miss? Would you like to sit down?
WOMAN: Thank you.
MAN: No problem. I would happily give up my seat to a pregnant senior citizen war veteran quadriplegic any day! ...Wait? What am I talking about? Even though it's rush hour, there are plenty of small but comfortable seats still available in this car. I'll sit back down.
GIRL: Pardon me, would you mind if I took this seat in the middle of you two?
CLEAN-SMELLING GENTLEMEN OF AVERAGE SIZE: (Shifting stone statue of Buddha from seat to lap) Of course not.