You Autocomplete Me!

Or, A Second Paean to Google's Autocomplete
 

Earlier this year, we examined what little boys and girls in (or out of) love can learn from the mysterious, miraculous cupid that is Google Autocomplete (see that Valentine's Day post here). As we saw, in a creepy but hilarious way, Autocomplete knows us as a populace, as a culture, perhaps even better than we know ourselves.

Now in a significantly less educational but more bewildering exposé, I present some other gems brought to you by Autocomplete. This will be more of a grab bag, including some examples of pure inscrutable weirdness. But, after all, when we dump a few trillion searches into the black box of google's artificial hive brain, stir it around, stick in a spoon, and try a random taste, who knows what to expect?

Part the First: You Answered Your Own Question
In which one of your questions answers another. For example:

I'd like to see a double-blind study that compares the elephant-lifting diet to the Atkins.

"Oh, that's why."

Autocomplete Your Love Life This Valentine's Day!

Google search's Autocomplete is like the nerdy cousin of Autocorrect. The latter is more popular, partly because he knows you personally - via your typing habits - and partly because what he wreaks can be hilariously disastrous. Autocomplete, on the other hand, is seldom as funny, seldom gets as much attention, but he knows  - via your searching habits - not only you, but a few other BILLION people.

The latter is the guy we want on board today, St. Valentine's Day. The nerdy but vast wisdom of Autocomplete has so much to teach us: not only in the actual search results, but also in seeing what people search for - what they're curious about, what they don't know.

And the number one thing men and women don't know about? EACH OTHER. So now it's Autocomplete to the rescue! - For a crash course in men, women... and looove.