March 31, 2018

Easter Fools’ Day Pranks

For many of us, today marks the first EASTER FOOLS’ DAY in our lifetimes: the last time it happened was in 1956. Hope you’ve been busy brainstorming for the last 60 years… Let’s dive right in!

If you have swimming pool: find an Easter Bunny suit, or a large stuffed animal rabbit, tie weights to it, and sink it in the pool. Take several Easter baskets and eggs and fake grass and throw them in the water. On Easter morning, burst into the kids’ room and stammer tearfully, “Oh no oh no! There’s been a terrible accident!”

For the Easter Fools’ Day Egg Hunt, hide plastic eggs with fortunes inside:

     “This is the last Easter.”
     “You have hypercholesterolemia from eating too many eggs. Call your doctor.”
     “The Easter Bunny ate all your chocolate.”
     “You will die in 7 days.”

Also for the egg hunt: tell both kids and adults about a grand prize ‘golden egg’ filled with large cash bills. Best to announce this around dusk; bonus if the weather is cold/bad.

Make some paper cut-outs of bunny footprints. Lay them down outside, leading up to the door where the Easter baskets are left; include some gaps for where he ‘jumped.’ Discuss at length with the kids. Later that day, lay down additional footprints inside the house; maybe add a drop of two of fake blood to some of them. “Oh look, that’s weird! The Easter Bunny doesn’t usually come inside. I wonder where he went.” That night, lay down footprints leading from the hall into the middle of the kids’ room; add some drops of blood on the ground around the final prints. “Huh. The Easter Bunny’s footprints just end here. I guess he must be somewhere in the room.” Turn off the lights and say goodnight.

 After faking your death on Friday*, come ‘back to life’ today with a big “April Fools!!”
 * may require advance preparation

Say, “Hey kids! Know the best way to peel an egg?” Take a hard-boiled egg, and thump it against the very top of your head. “With the hardness of your skull and the softness of your hair, the top of your head is actually the best place to crack an egg. Then after you thump it, you can roll it around like this [demonstrate on your head] to crack it all the way around. Then just shake your head to get all the pieces of shell out. Wanna try?” Hand the kids uncooked eggs.

If your bedrooms have doorknobs that lock from the inside*: unscrew the knob from the kids’ room, reverse it, and reinstall it. On Easter morning, lock the door from the outside. Knock on the door, and in your best bunny voice, say “Hello kids! Hellooooo kids? It’s your pal, the Easter Bunny!” When they come running, continue with “I have Easter baskets for you, filled with all kinds of eggs and chocolate and toys! Open the door and I’ll give them to you!” Allow some time for panic. Then: ”Hey, open the door! Don’t you want to meet me and get your Easter baskets?? I’m gonna hafta leave soon!” After a minute, “Well, time’s up! Gotta get to the next house. I guess those lucky kids get TWO baskets each, haha!” Jump away loudly.
*based on a true story

Get a stuffed animal rabbit and spray-paint it black. On Easter, remark to a bunch of kids how the Easter Bunny is always white. “Oh yeah, when I was young, once in a while there’d be a yellow bunny, or a pink bunny. But never a BLACK bunny. You know, they say the only time you ever see a black bunny is on the day before you die.” Arrange for the kids to sit facing a window, painting eggs or something. Have a friend go outside and quickly toss the black rabbit past the window.

Sometime after the kids have eaten a bunch of eggs, remark off-handedly, “Hey, you know what’s strange? The Easter Bunny, really, isn’t such a good person. I mean, you know the eggs? They’re chicken eggs, of course—not BUNNY eggs. The Easter Bunny STOLE them from chickens, and that’s kind of mean, because they’re the chickens’ babies. Well, after Easter, the chickens wander around, searching for their lost children. They’ll break into houses, they’ll peck apart Easter baskets, even peck a hole into a refridgerator. Nothing can stop them. Boy, I wonder what they would do if they knew you had eggs in your stomachs!” Laugh, but then appear to sober up, and look scared. “…Oh my god. That would be horrible.”
     That night, 30 minutes after the kids have gone to bed, sneak outside their bedroom window and, beginning quietly and steadily increasing in volume, squawk like a chicken.

Ask if kids are online friends with the Easter Bunny. “Oh yeah, you gotta see all the pictures he posts, of the baskets he’s preparing, and his bunny friends, and his magical home in Bunny Land! You can find the photos online, but you have to search for his FULL name.” Wait until they ask, and then continue: “Bunny is his last name. His first name is easy to remember: he loves to play, and he’s a boy—his name’s Playboy!”

On Easter morning, let the kids be excited, but act totally normally. “What? Did you think today was Easter? No, no, the real Easter is Orthodox Easter, NEXT Sunday.” Show them on a calendar. The following week, alter your calendar or print a new page… “Huh? No, it’s still not Easter, kids! Oh, did I say next week? I meant TWO weeks—it’s NEXT Sunday.” Show them the new calendar page. Repeat as desired.

BONUS – Let your egg hunt commence according to airline boarding order:
Group 1: babies
Group 2: active and uniformed military personnel
Group 3: executive platinum members
Group 4: lucky gold star club members
Group 5: children of the hunt organizer
Group 6: friends of the children of the hunt organizer
Group 7: all the other economy class children
Group 8: the pack of hungry wolves

Enjoy, and happy Easter Fools’ Day!!

Special thanks to Kelsey.

No comments:

Post a Comment