Read of the intern who created a lotion called AAAHHH!, the Playmobil Security Checkpoint, shampoo with food in it, Tanner the Dog Who Eats His Own Poop, the bizarre Japanese Watermelon Refridgerator Stroller, and much more
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At TempleSpa Headquarters
BOSS: Well, lackey, you've been working at TempleSpa™ for two weeks now. What've you got to show for it?
INTERN: Boss, I've got it. It's gonna be a hit. Get this: it's a soothing balm for aching feet and limbs.
BOSS: What's it called?
INTERN: AAAHHH!
BOSS: AAH!! Jesus Christ! What's the matter??
INTERN: No, sir, that's what it's called.
BOSS: What?
INTERN: It's called AAAHHH!
BOSS: Aah!! Mother of God, stop saying that!!
INTERN: That's the name of the balm, sir. No need to blaspheme.
BOSS: Let me get this straight. You named a soothing balm... "Aaaaaahhhh!!!"?!?
INTERN: Exactly. And here's the tagline: leaves tired legs, feet & limbs feeling "tingling and alive." Isn't that great?
BOSS: "Tingling and alive"? It makes your limbs feel tingling? Like nerve damage?
INTERN: Tingling... and alive.
BOSS: Instead of dead and numb?
INTERN: Yes. The tingling means it's working.
When you dine next to little ones and are served any meat dish, jump back from the table and say "WHAT??! This is REINDEER meat!! How COULD you?? Santa won't be able to deliver presents now!"
Explain to kids that something terrible has happened to Santa, it's the same thing that happened to Grandpa before he died, he's gone crazy and he's not wearing his Santa suit anymore, and he's mad and yelling all the time, and there's something REALLY wrong with all the elves, they've turned evil and mean and they're fighting with everybody, it's just really, really bad. Then show them footage of Saruman and the orcs from Lord of the Rings.
